3 types of blogs

Hello, my dear fellow readers! Please forgive me for not having written for such a long time. I realize that you are tired of waiting for my new posts.

… There are a lot of posts starting with this phrase on WordPress. It’s one of the few phrases which truly touch me in some way. This greeting will undoubtedly make the blog popular and relevant in seconds. Blessed are those who believe.

I have been holding the honorary title of a “blogger” for about a month. “Just a month! She still knows nothing about blogs,” you will say and you will be right. But I’ve noticed several common features of blogs and even made my own classification. In Russia we say: “If you don’t understand something, write about it. If you don’t understand something at all, classify it!”.

All blogs can be divided into 3 types: selfie, half-selfie and a landscape.

1) Selfie blog. 1blogsThe main object of their blog is themselves. These people can write about their daily life, kitchen activities, personal relationships, changes in their mood and wardrobe. Unless, of course, it’s not Kanye West or Shaun the Sheep (all people, including Kim Kardashian’s fans and cartoon lovers are interested in their lives) the only reasonable explanation for this blog is a diary blog. Feeling a sudden nostalgic urge, 20 years later, you will read that on April 8, 2015, you gained 3 extra pounds, and on April 9, 2015, your dog was seriously ill with chickenpox. The probability that at least 10000 people will read the same makes the joy of writing your “personal” diary brighter.

2blogs2) Half-selfie blog. They describe some important events, pointing out that they also have something to do with it one way or another. We can’t say that without them the event would not happen, but it definitely would not be so exciting. For example, they post Madonna concert video footage and photos, informing us that a backing vocalist at the rightmost side looked at them twice, and the second spare guitar could not resist the temptation and winked at them.

3blogs3) Landscape blog. Yes, it’s their blog, but they don’t exist there. Blog becomes a part of the nation’s history, a piece of art in genre blogging. The narrators are invisible, but of course, they are somewhere in the back of the settings and corrections, and they only occasionally emerge from behind the scenes to look listlessly at Stats.

I do not know how to determine my blog type. But according to this post, it probably looks something like this:

hghhhhnnh

P.S. I’ve noticed if there is a word “vodka” in a post, the post is getting more Likes. In a language of economists and mathematicians it looks like this:

водка

After a certain amount of vodka there can’t be any straight lines on the diagram. Now you know a simple answer to the question: “Why do Russian people drink so much vodka?”

Because everyone likes it.

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16 thoughts on “3 types of blogs

  1. I hit the like button on your post so many times it was flashing like a “Do Not Walk” sign. I like your blog, I liked your post, and I really liked your graph of the ratio of likes to the word vodka, especially the wiggle at the top because of the amount of vodka involved. Vodka is the water of life. What is not to like about that? 🙂 My muse is screaming at me to do a vodka post in your honor. I think it will be Monday. First I must study the subject over the weekend. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Yes, it’s rather serious topic, so you should to do a weekend “research”. In our culture it is not customary to do a research before writing. It’s irresponsible, I know, but when I begin a research on some topic, my muse doesn’t scream at me, she just leaves. When you eat dirty strawberries in grandma’s garden, they seem the most delicious food in the world, but as soon as you’re forced to wash them, all berries seem tasteless 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      • This is very true. My research usually consists of writing everything my muse tells me right away then several days of trying to edit my writing so that I can figure out what it was I was trying to say. I will look in the dictionary for a long time to see what muglferpadipples means. When I don’t find it, I have to make something up. Vodka helps a lot with this part. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      • I have no patience for waiting and correcting. Now I’m scared to even look at my previous posts, because my inner critic only wakes up after publishing. When I press “Publish” button, all magic disappears, and instead of thought “Marta, you are the greatest blogger of all time!” comes thought “What? Blogger? You can’t even translate your gibberish into English correctly! Delete your account immediately!”

        Liked by 1 person

      • Oh NO! Don’t delete! You would deprive the world of another great Russian writer/blogger. Besides, I finished my vodka post and you may want to comment and tell me about how I should develop a better sense of severe regret when I publish my musings. I took your advice and didn’t research. Instead I submitted to the whimsy of my muse. I personify vodka as a mysterious love affair with a tiny twist in the end. I will publish it Monday morning. Don’t worry. It’s not your fault. No one can blame you for this. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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